Setback

I am embarrassed to write this post so soon into my foray into my Three Paths resolution. I need to admit to a failure in my personal goal of  daily exercise. It hasn't happened, and I feel a little ashamed that it was a public declaration which I couldn't keep.
However, there is some positive aspects to highlight from my first attempt. For three weeks I have fasted, a single day a week is completely achievable, and hasn't negatively impacted on my milk supply. The second encouraging point was daily yoga was well within my grasp and a ten minute commitment easily stretched to 20 minutes or more. I stretched for the first 10 days of 21.
Okay I got a few sentences down before I plead the excuse, I couldn't focus on my exercise resolution because I was sad. Did that come across as convincing? I don't know if even I am totally convinced. I had a few hard days, and my first emotional and miserable day in more than a year because of a big life crisis and the wheels totally fell off my exercise. As to the life crisis, stay tuned as it effects one of the other Paths here, and warrants a post of its own.
So the future of exercise? Walking is uncertain, it is a logistical marathon to leave the house with Archer in tow, and I only made it out of the house to walk twice in the past three weeks. I hold some hope that if I am aiming for only 10 minutes I can fit it in between activities with Archer without having to plan for a walk excessively, and will have to push myself to test this theory, as it is the only way forward.
Life gives me so many excuses not to duck out for a stroll, I have begun my afternoon piano lessons again, which always seem to conflict with a  perfect walk time, but isn't that the way with us all? we feel tragically motivated to do just the thing we are avoiding the moment we realise we cannot possibly do it. We are safe from the terrible job we are avoiding and can lament to ourselves, "oh no if only I had the time, I would do that right now" incidentally I feel this way about lots of things all the time, washing up and other housework mostly. So I need to work on walking with some focus or it will fail again. Yoga is okay I can pick that up again now, tonight after I post this I can jump on the mat, and that ends the post on a positive note, this exercise resolution can quickly get halfway back on track.

Body Overhaul

At this junction in my paths ahead I need to pause and implement a body overhaul, with an aim to some weight loss and a drastic increase in general health and fitness.

I plan to begin a fast once a week, the Morsley fast diet recommends a fast twice a week, but while breastfeeding I am reluctant. Perhaps if fasting once a week proves to have no ill effect upon my milk production then I could consider increasing it. Firstly I want to increase milk supply and informally monitor volumes of milk, after the first three feeds in the day, leave an hour or two then express milk. Rather than freeze this extra milk I think it is important that Archer gets to drink it, so I think adding it to his next meal will work the best, saving the last expressed milk for breakfast the next day. For the fasting I will need to do some organisation and research to be able to prepare and eat the restricted calories allowed on a fast day. Also, I would like to aim for a 16 hour total fast, meaning organising a late breakfast.

Next, importantly for my body is to introduce exercise, my first focus is on the potential for more walking and yoga. But I have difficulty getting active consistently, and find that I spend more time coming up with strategies to do more exercise than doing anything. So typing this now I am realistically uncertain about the success of this strategy; but in good faith, I believe this is a good plan. To commit to daily exercise, and increase duration from 10 minutes initially. Surely 10 minutes per day is achievable. For the first week I think either walking or yoga could be the 10 minutes, the second week yoga daily for 10 minutes and walking every second day. Third week both walking and yoga every day. Fourth week, increase duration by 5 minutes, fifth week to 20 minutes each per day. At this point I will have to reassess because I don't really know how my day will go fitting in blocks of exercise time.

Clearly I will require some higher intensity exercise at some point and I am also toying with the idea of giving up sugar again but I will start with the above steps. There is a strong inclination for me to continue to daydream about the amazing change to the world my three paths commitment may bring, but that is fuelling my procrastination on starting a body overhaul. This week I was pleased to be able to spend time with family, but they have received heartbreaking health news and I have come away after seeing them begin to digest a tough diagnosis thinking of my family and personal lifestyle choices, because in 20 or 30 years I don't want to be looking back and regretting my choice to stay unfit and let a little more weight settle every year. I need to make these changes now not only for myself but for Wade and Archer.

Last night I may have come to a conclusion which will shape the rest of my life. That from this day forward my energies will be divided into three; each day I want to focus on myself and my home, my community, friends and family and lastly on a global level on the earth and its people. I was lead to this conclusion by my misery last night after seeing an advertisement for a children's charity and preventable deaths. I decided I could not spend yet another evening feeling helpless about these problems, that I could not hold my beautiful healthy child in my arms and insulate myself from tragedy and suffering. I cannot live my life with out making some effort on this scale.

I have felt this way for a long time, but have decided to formalise and act upon it.

I think the temptation is to spend ones life focussed on only the priorities of yourself and your family. It is so easy to justify this focus, by promising that when your finances and family have become comfortable, it would be time to look outside yourself give something back to the community at that time. But this thinking is not enough for me, and a “right” time to begin caring and acting will never occur. For me the time is now. It is time today.

 

It is clear that I already have a strong idea about myself and my family, where I want to go, what I strive for when raising my son and in being a wife. And on the second point I already have some contribution towards my community with my weekly commitment to the local soup kitchen, it is the third global aspect which requires the most innovation from me, in the past I have donated regular money to a few charities, but that seems ineffective and isn't something we can currently afford. I intend to do some research and reach out to people that I know which may be able to help me achieve some broader benefit for others, and also to commit a small amount of time each day to keep myself on track.